it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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