Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
