yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
