So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
