It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
