i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
