WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
