There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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