he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
