one might say we're banned from that church
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
