she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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