You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
