why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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