Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
