I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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