I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
