votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's always time for handjobs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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