so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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