I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
