If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
