who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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