He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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