is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
