Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
