I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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