I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
