shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Pooping to opera.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
