I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
