a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
