Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
