someone threw a dead crab at me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
People in love make me want to vomit
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Drake has all the answers
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