Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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