you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
