Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
