Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
