Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
