I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
