I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
