I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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