i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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