Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
