Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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