I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
