i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize