So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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