Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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