If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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