I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize