I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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