he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
