I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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