Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
