bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
