So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
