dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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