I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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