i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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