Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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