Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
