That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
