And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
