..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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