he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sorry about my life...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize