its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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