all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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