I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
