I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
