Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
