So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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