she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
