it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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