good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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