He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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