pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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