It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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