Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
