if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize