I got her a Nickelback box set.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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