At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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