After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
